Financial Wellness

“Romance Scammers” Are Trying to Hook You

The modern search for love and connection increasingly unfolds on screens. Dating apps and social platforms promise a convenient way to meet someone new. But alongside genuine connections lurks a sophisticated form of financial fraud: the romance scam.

In this scam, con artists — practiced manipulators — craft believable personas, cultivate intimacy, and establish trusted relationships — romance or friendship. Their ultimate goal is not companionship, but your cash.

The best defense is awareness. Understanding how romance scams work and how to recognize their warning signs can help protect both your finances and your emotional well-being.

Romance scammers use a fictitious online identity to establish a trusted relationship with you — romance or friendship — for the purpose of requesting money. Then, they will use a false situation to create a sense of urgency.

Fake Love, Real Loss

Romance scams typically follow a familiar three-part script.

1. The Perfect Profile.

Scammers generally begin by creating convincing profiles on dating sites, social networks, or online messaging platforms. They steal photographs from real people and use fake names.

The fabricated persona is usually designed to inspire admiration or sympathy, such as a deployed service member, an international doctor, or an engineer working on a distant oil platform. Then, the scammer makes contact with potential targets, striking up friendly conversations to gain their trust and affection.

2. The Emotional Narrative.

After establishing trust, the story begins. The scammer may share an unexpected crisis — a sudden medical emergency, travel complications abroad, or a banking problem. The stories are always tailored to sound plausible and urgent.

By this point, the relationship may feel real. Daily messages, affectionate language, and promises of future meetings create a sense of intimacy that lowers skepticism.

3. The Financial Request.

Eventually the conversation turns to money. Romance scammers may ask victims to send funds through payment methods that are difficult to trace, stop or recover, such as wire transfers, gift cards, cryptocurrency, transfers through the Automated Clearing House (ACH) or checks made payable to another person.

In some cases, the scheme can grow more elaborate. A scammer may initially send money — often from a fraudulent or stolen source — and ask the victim to deposit it and forward the funds elsewhere. In such cases, the victim may unknowingly participate in money laundering and other fraud.

Watch for Red Flags

Romance scams rely on emotional manipulation, but their tactics often share recognizable warning signs. Be cautious if someone you meet online:

• Says their job keeps them overseas, such as military deployment, oil rig work, or international medical assignments;
• Has a profile that appears inconsistent, sparse, or unusually polished;
• Sends vague or repetitive messages that feel impersonal
• Urges you to move the conversation away from the dating platform to private email or text
• Makes repeated plans to meet in person but cancels at the last minute
• Requests money, financial information, or personal data.

Protect Yourself

Meeting people can be rewarding, but a few precautions reduce your risk. A healthy relationship — online or off — does not require secrecy, urgency, or financial sacrifice.

1. » Never send money to someone you have not met in person, regardless of how compelling their story may sound.
2. » Avoid accepting money from strangers, which may involve counterfeit checks or laundering schemes.
3. » Run a reverse image search on profile photos. If the image belongs to someone else — or appears in stock photography — you are likely dealing with a scam.
4. » Do not send compromising photos or personal documents, which could later be used for extortion.
5. » Share the situation with a trusted friend or family member. A second perspective can reveal warning signs that are easy to miss when emotions are involved.

The Bottom Line

By blending emotional storytelling with financial manipulation, scammers can make even cautious people vulnerable.

Read more about protecting your finances against scams, fraud and identity theft through our Scam Awareness & Cyber Security articles.